my kids and their beds

So, after a series of unrelated events, I found myself at my neighbor's house locked out of my dad's car. We only had the one key. They are on vacation. I was unsure how I was going to get back in the car. There used to be another spare key, but it had disappeared a long time ago. I had just dropped my boys off to play and my friend said she would run me home to pick up the other key, "except" I said, "I don't know where it is". This is when B7 perks up, "I know where it is. you mean the one with the miniature tupperware bowl on it" (it's a key ring, thingy) Yep that was the one. "It's up on my bed."
What! Yeah, that's my son. He keeps a wide variety of things up on his top bunk. You just never know what you might find there and in this instance it came in real handy. So, my friend drove me home and I ran inside, grabbed the key ring off his top bunk and went back and unlocked the car door. Having a wierd kid really paid offf!!

At this same time, my hubby was taking the crib apart and converting it into a day bed. We have high hopes that our little bed snob would be thrilled with this big girl bed and actually sleep in there. She seemed to really love it. She went and got my pillow (yes, with the expensive sheets) and climbed up there and I gave her a blanket that she pulled up over her. She had a sippy cup of juice and a few teddy bears and she laid down and pretended to snore. We were hesitantly very excited. She wouldn't go near it after that. When asked if that was her new room and her new bed, she would start to cry and say "no!".
Yes, she slept in my bed last night. I'm hoping after a few years of napping in her new bed, she might feel comfortable enough to actually sleep there at night. But, maybe not.

Sunshine in my Heart

Yes, once again, B4 has shown me why I call him my sunshine. Lately, he's been more of a dreary kind of day. I'm not sure why, the age, getting used to goint to school, just the need to add stress to my life like B7 does, the fact that there were no waffles or Crispy Rice in the house for mornings on end!! (3). Anyway, the ray of sunshine came out yesterday. The little Diva of nearly 20 months was sitting in her high chair eating lunch. She has found that if she braces her feet against the leg of the table, she can rock her chair backwards. (I know what you're thinking "move the chair back!") B4 was sitting at the table with her and was trying to convince her not to do this because she could fall on her head and it would hurt.
Once B4 gets talking, at times, there is no stopping him. This is what I heard:
"IF you fall, it will hurt. You might not know that for sure, but I do. I know for sure that if you fell on your head, it would hurt. And what else I know for sure is that I love you. and what else I know for sure is that you love me, little Diva. I know for sure that you love me and what I know for sure is that I love you. and I don't want you to hurt yourself, because (as previously stated) I know for sure that it would hurt. and I'm telling you this because I love you, and I know that for sure and I know for sure that you love me. (most of this in a sugary, high pitched sort of voice)
She just sat there, munching away on her sandwich, gently rocking her chair back and forth while B4 went on and on about all that he knew for sure about the love between the 2 of them.
After a week of B4 and B7 nearly killing each other on an hourly basis and me beginning to wonder if there was any sibbling love in this house, it really warmed my heart to see my little ray of sunshine, alive, well, and so in love with his little sister!!

What?

Does anybody know what a Coton de Tulear puppy is? and if $3000.00 would be a good price for one? Not that I'm shopping for a dog, but wow, $3000.00 for a dog? Now I'm very curious about that dog. Someone is selling "champion European bloodlines" in our local paper. Never heard of them and can't imagine paying that much for a pet!!

Bed Snob

I have taken all 3 of my babies to bed with me, because, well, I was always too tired to stay up, nurse, and put them back to bed, only to do it again in 20 minutes. My boys both made the transition from my bed to their bed quite easily and by 12- 15 months they were sleeping happily through the night in their own bed in a room they share. (I know some of you are thinking 12 MONTHS!! is she crazy?)
My daughter, on the other hand refuses to make this transition. Soon, she will be 20 months and she will not sleep anywhere but in our bed. I think she's a bed snob. Our mattress is by far, way more comfy than that crib mattress and our sheets are way more soft and snuggly than her sheets. So, it's a problem. Plus, she can"t/won't (?) sleep unless she is holding my pinky finger. I have tried to substitute a doll finger, but she knows the difference between warm flesh and cold plastic, even, in a deep sleep!
So, the other day, I cleared a spot on my bedroom floor and brought her crib mattress in and made up a bed for her. The boys love it, I can't get them out of my room; they jump, slide, wrestle and all sorts of fun things. She'l sleep in it for a few hours, until, somehow she realizes that she is not holding my pinky and starts crying "mom!". She has also started crying and whimpering in her sleep and sometimes talking. It's a bit disturbing so it makes it even harder to kick her out of my bed. But I'm trying. Maybe I should sleep on the floor and let her have the comfy bed and expensive sheets!! I'm not a bed snob, I just want to sleep!!

My Poor Toes

One of the reasons I really like our church is because the pastor really preaches great sermons and often they are a bit uncmfortable and I feel as though I've gotten my toes stepped on. And I think this is a good thing, it means I can grow, if I take it to heart. Well, yesterday, I got my feet stomped all over. He was preaching directly at me, but never once did he look my way. Recently, he's been doing a series on David and passivity and yesterday he talked about the things that might cause us to disengage from our life, our kids, our marriage, whatever. And, although we have disengaged, it may not look like it on the outside. He talked about 3 things that may cause us to disengage, but it was the first one that struck my heart. It is fatigue. that's me, all i ever am is tired. And he said that some stuff that might look like the opposite of passive, is actually a result of being passive. For example, blowing up at your kids. It may look like you are engaged and full of life but it could actually be passive because blowing up is easier than doing the hard work of parenting. ouch.
This last week I have felt extremely detached from my life because of the disappointment of not being able to stay in school. but on top of that, I have just always been so tired. I have not slept through the night for over 7 years and that takes a toll on a body. He said that we may need to rest. And while resting, napping, sleeping, may look passive, it's not. You have to intentionally plan so you can get the rest you need, so that you can engage in your life.
Yep, it's a lot to think about. How did he know I needed to hear that, even though I didn't really want to?

A moment of your time, if you please

I am asking all of you that stop by here to please, if you would, answer the following survey:

1. Have you ever had a problem with your home computer? If yes, what was it?

2. Have you ever called a service person to come in to your home to repair it?

3. Have you ever taken your computer out to a store for repair?

4. Have you ever called a support line of a company (eg Microsoft), for help?

5. If you answered yes to #2, 3 or 4, what was the experience like?

Thank you for your help in my informal non-scientific survey.

On the more positive side

-my kids are (mostly) healthy
-at least i have an indoor toilet to clean
-wow, look at all the clothes we have! (too bad they're not clean)
-I didn't have to walk home after the school function last night
-friends who care
-evidence of 3 kids, a husband and 2 parents all over my house
-my husband's safe trip home last night
-B7 can sleep at night now, since we switched his math class
-there's still diet Coke with lime in the fridge
-Friday is payday
-my future is STILL in God's hands
-Blue's Clues entertains my baby, at least for a few minutes

It's Over (at least for now)

So, I got my answer today. NO. They will not accept my degree beause they must maintain the integrity of their education. i can't really tell you how devastating this news was for me. I'm not sure why I thought I would be accepted, but, obviously, I was wrong. I have decided to drop out because that way i will not have to pay. i don't wnt to end up having to pay back a loan for 8 credits that may or may not be used, at least, for a few years.
so, now what? I don't know. But, what I do know is that my heart hurts. I went to Slovakia this summer on a missions trip and i fell in love with the people and the country. Our church is in partnership with a English Immersion school there and they are always looking for qualified (licensed and experienced) teachers. My secret dream way down in the bottom of my heart that some time in the future, when the timing was right, we would move to Slovakia and I could teach. It feels as though that dream has been ripped out of my heart.
I don't know why this happened. I don't know what God has for me and my future, I guess I will have to wait and see.

Everything but

I have not posted for a very long time. There is so much homework I have to do, that I cannot spend that much time on the computer and if I do, I feel very guilty. Although, I have managed to do other stuff, like clean out sock drawers, (which I NEVER do), cook big meals, (for MYSELF!) I just got done eating a big skillet of hashbrowns, bacon, onion, cheese and eggs. It was so good and usually I won't cook for myself, but tonight, since I really need to "hit the books" so to speak, I cooked it up.

But I decided I needed to blog a bit, and then get back to work. So, here's what's been happening...

I still have not heard from the Dean at the school as to whether or not by BA will be accepted. I did, however, go and meet with my advisor because I wanted to know what classes I should register for next, in the event that I will be registering. Well, when I got there, she wanted to know why I wasn't in the Masters Program. She said I could take the same classes, (at graduate level) and get my license while also getting my Masters. I said i didn't know why, that nobody had mentioned that to me and that I didn't realize it was an option. I'm not sure why that matters now, anyway, because it seems a little lofty to be considering a Masters when I don't even know if my BA will be accepted. But if it is, I'm not sure I will do it. I can't decide.

We have officially pulled B7 out of the math class he was in. Last Thursday morning was the last straw when, after arriving at school, he started hyperventalating because all of a sudden he was unsure if he had done the right homework. My hubby said, no problem, let's go check with your teacher. B7 started freaking out even more, saying, no, he's not allowed to ask, he'll get in trouble. So, that's that. She has, in her words, "not yelled, but raised her voice" at my son for the last time, written "careless" on his tests when he scores 37/39 for the last time and caused him to lose sleep at night and start to feel as if he is no good at math. Yes, it was a tough decision, he's not exactly thrilled, because all his friends are in that class, but I think once he realizes how much stress free the other class is, he will be fine. That, and his dad bought him the Incredibles XBOX game, so he's doing fine.

There is talk of going to my in-laws for Christmas this year. This is something we have never done before. We have gone for New year's or Thanksgiving, and in the summer. So, that may be a bit different, plus, I'm a bit embarressed to go back after the last time we were there and I "lost it" in front of the whole family. Not a pretty picture.

My baby girl has now figured out how to climb up on the kitchen stools, so now, the counter is not a safe haven for anything. Plus, now she has decided to drag the stool around the kitchen and climb up to where ever she pleases, yes, this means the stove. No, she hasn't done it while the stove was hot. Yes, the stools are gone. At least for now.

All the leaves have fallen from the oak trees in our back yard and there are millions of leaves needing to be bagged up. Generally speaking, this in not something I enjoy or even engage in, but it seems a bit appealing now, what with all the homework and all.

For my geopgraphy class, one of my assignments was to do a walking tour of our city. So, yesterday, we loaded up the kids and went touring. I felt like a tourist, but, really I had never actually seen a lot of the buildings and sights that were included in his very detailed walking tour. It was a lot of fun, but a lot of work, with all 3 kids. Now I have to write a paper for that, too!

So, that's it for now, sorry for not staying in touch over the last week. Hopefully, I will actually get this 10 page paper written and then I wil be able to breathe again!!