Dreams

So, in my education class (that I'm still enrolled in under the radar) we've been talking about "unpacking our baggage" and understanding ourselves so we know how we will look at the classroom and the kids in the classroom, etc..
Also, I have been reading a lot in my geography class about Slovakia and the Czech republic, which of course, made me think of my trip there and it will be my husbby's birthday in a few days. So, I guess with all that in mind, this is what I dreamt about last night:

I was teaching school, a class filled with children and all of a sudden my parents showed up with 2 huge duffel bags all packed, singing "happy birthday" to me. At first, I thought they had packed me up to go back to Slovakia and were surprising me, and then I realized it was all my baggage, luggage, I had yet to unpack! about teaching school, I guess.

Interesting dream, huh?

The Final Days

I live in Minnesota, which is typically a Democratic state, but more recently could go either way, so we are a swing state. This has caused a bombardment of advertising, signs on lawns, the president showing up, Kerry showing up, actors from Hollywood showing up all over our state to get the message out! I'm about done with the whole thing.

But I have a neighbor with a sign in his yard that I would like to share with you. It reads:

SUPPORT PARTIAL BIRTH ABORTIONS!! VOTE KERRY/EDWARDS!

Don't you just love free speech?

Appeal Request

Okay, so I got the name of the Dean who would be able to allow my BA to be accepted and I emailed him a nice letter asking him to reconsider my situation, explaining how the school I attended does all the same things his school does and how the Department of Education recognizes both accreditting agencies equally and would he please take the time to look at this and allow me to continue my education with a full BA.

We'll see what happens. He emailed me back, saying he had received my request and would get back to me.

It's all in God's hands now. I have no idea what will happen or what the future holds for all this. I guess I will continue my studies, register for next trimester as if all is well and go from there. I just have to trust God on this one, I can't make anything happen. and if the answer is no, I will have to trust that God is in control of that as well.

So, please pray for all this, if you would. I know it's not death defying or anything, but I would appreciate it.

My only other alternative will be to stay home and sell magnets out of my living room!

That Time of Year

Just a few more days until Halloween. I hate Halloween. I hate everything about it. We did not go trick or treating as kids, nor do my kids. But most of my friends do not understand this, even the Christians. This is what I hear:

"Oh, it's harmless, now."

"It's not bad anymore, it's so commercialized now."

"These are great memories your kids are missing out on. Halloween was my favorite holiday as a kid and I would never take that away from my kids."

"But the costumes are all so cute."

Blah, blah, blah....
I say, I have no intention of sending my kids around the neighborhood begging for candy and threatening to "trick" them if no candy is provided. This usually quiets them, at least for a minute because no one really thinks of trick or treating like that. Even though that's what it is!
Yes, it is commercialized but it is not safe and it does still have meaning. So I will not intentionally send my kids out into that. Even if it makes me look like a mean mom with a very unpopular opinion.

Now what?

I just got some very disappointing news. I have been in school for 2 months now, and today they call me and say, oh, we made a mistake, we will not be able to recognize your BA.

I graduated form a very small christian school in Illinois over 10 years ago. They are accreditted bur apparently not with the accreditation agency/board or whatever it's called, that the school here will accept BA's from. I cannot tell you how disappointing this is to me. I have no idea what to do now. I could continue on with school there, but it will take me longer and I really don't like the idea of having to do the same work I already did. I could look into another school to see if they would accept my BA, but the chances are probably not very good. I can drop out now and get a full refund because it is the school's error. But I really like the school and I want to finish there.

I'm going to appeal and see what happens. I have to trust God and know that He is in this. I hope this doesn't mean that He doesn't want me to go to this school, or to become a teacher. I'm not sure what this all means, except that I have been putting a lot of effort into what could turn into nothing.

Please pray for me.

The voices

This may not be a popular post, but I must say it.

I cannot wait until November 3rd. I've had enough of all this and I just want it to be over. I realize there are many important issues to think about when deciding who to vote for.

Jobs oversea. Yes, serious, but these are all people are adults and it's not that I want them to lose their jobs, I just think that as an adult, they can figure out how to go on.

Health care and prescription drugs. Again, a big issue and one I'm growing more concerned with because soon my parents will be affected by this. But again, this effects adults, peeople with voices and choices.

The war in Iraq. I am in no position to say if we should be there or not. But we are, with armed forces who willingly joined up. Now, I'm sure at the time, there was not much thinking that one day they would be fighting a war, but isn't that the reason behind the millitary. I'm sure the mothers and the wives, and all the families, have definite ideas about this. But, again, these are people with choices.

Education. Huge in the district we live in. We have had so many budget cuts, it's unbelievable. But even with the cuts, the education has not declined (in my district). and there are still ways to get the money, even if that means raising our taxes. The money is there, somewhere and the people who are concerned with the education system will work to get that money.

So, yes, I am a one issue voter and I'm sure you have strong feelings about this one way or the other. This is the one issue where the one in jeopardy (danger of being killed) does not have a voice. So, I have to help in hearing their voices be heard.
I wonder who all those babies would vote for, if that were a possibility. You know, it's said to be about choice, but I don't buy it. I do not have the choice whether or not to wear a seat belt. If I don't, I run the risk of being ticketed. But I do have the choice to kill my unborn child. How does this make sense? "Seatbelts save lives" and so if you are not going to be smart enough to wear one voluntarily, we will make it a law. Well, you know what, not having abortions saves lives, too.
And so while I understand there is a lot to think about, this, the legalizing of abortions and who is for it and who has already made steps to save the lives of some of the unborn, is where my vote goes.

My lIfe, my kids

Lately, I have been having serious feelings of inadequacy. I feel like I am a horrible mother, wife, housekeeper and student. I worry most about the mom part. So much of the time is spent correcting and explaining and instructing that I wonder if my kids are having enough fun, or if they are learning all the things they need to learn from me, or if they will grow up with memories of me being frustrated with them or with memories of the times we did do fun stuff.

School is taking up a lot more time than I had inticipated. I have lots of homework and not enough time to do it. I have in the past always gotten good grades, and I'm not sure that will be the case this time around. I enjoy the classes and I mostly enjoy the work, I just don't have the time needed to give it 100%. and unfortunetly, my grades are reflecting this. not that they're bad, just not what I want.

So, of course, that means the housework is suffering. There is an endless pile of laundry that either needs to be folded, put away or washed. The amount of paper work my son brings home is beginning to pile up and I am unsure of what to do with it, because 9 times out of 10, he needs it again and will get in troule if he cannot produce it when necessary. So, I've been hanging on to all of that.

The bright side is my husband. He is not concerned with the condition of the house. He says, "get used to it for now, until the kids are older and you are done with school." and he's been doing so much for me. He really is the greatest. He had dinner going when I got home from school on Saturday. He got all the kids ready for bed, baths included, he cleanded up the kitchen that had been a mess all week. You may be saying to yourself, "well, good, that's what he should be doing" but the thing is that he works nights so he's not here for the nightly routine so on the weekends he puts the kids to bed and it was so great that he did all the rest too, since I still had some homework to finish for my Sunday class.

But it has all been weighing down on me and I have gone out to a blog that is written by a woman who desperately wants a child and she talks about all the things she imagines doing if it ever works out with all of the fertility difficulties they have come up against. and she talks about how she sees her friends who can very easily have children taking their children for granted and how she never will. and it makes me wonder, Do I take my kids for granted? what does that mean? what does that look like in the daily schedule? and then we got a calendar in the mail.

We have been supporting St Jude's hospital for a while now, but I don't ever remember seeing a calendar before. I sat down and read the stories of all the kids there and looked at all their artwork and cried because these kids are amazing in the face of so much illness. and I think of their moms, who would give anything to have their child be healthy and to be able to do all the things my kids do on a daily basis. and I cried some more, because I don't have it that tough. I don't have to take my kid to a hospital on a weekly/monthly basis or leave them there to face some pretty tough procedures. and I look at my kids and I say, "Thank you, Jesus" and I remind myself that I need to be grateful for what I have and not dismayed over what I don't have.

Shoes

The following is the conversation my son and I had on the way to AWANA last night.
"Mom, size 1 is too small and size 3 is too big and I know size 2 is just right but every time I kick my right foot my shoes come off."

"Do you keep them zipped up?"

"Yes, Mom, that one is just getting loose."

"Well, than don't kick with your right foot."

"I can't kick that good with my left foot." (they play soccer every day at recess)

"I guess you will have to learn to tie."

"But it takes too long to get back in the game."

"Well, which would you prefer, a loose right shoe or the possibility of being able to tighten up your shoes."

"A loose shoe."

"Well, then stop complaining."

"I'm not complaining. I just don't like it."

I was thinking about that later, he said he wasn't complaining, just telling me something he didn't like. Isn't that complaining. Or does complaining imply a desire to have something change. I think sometimes I do a lot of complaining about things I don't like. Can you talk about stuff you don't like without complaining? What is complaining? I gotta quit or I'm gonna start whining about complaining and that would not be pretty!

The Last Day of Summer

I heard on the radio this morning that today is the last nice day for a VERY LONG time. I'm not ready for this. It's so beautiful right now, with the leaves changing color and the crispness of the leaves that have fallen. But I feel like there is a force greater than me that is pulling me kicking and screaming into the next season. I still have to fight with my kids every morning about wearing shorts and short sleeves (they insist) and if I can talk them into long sleeves than forget about wearing a sweatshirt. They're not ready, I'm not ready. I suppose I should check to make sure I can locate 3 pairs of winter boots, 3 pairs of gloves and several extras, 3 winter hats, 3 winter coats, 3 sets of snow pants. But I don't want to. I hate the cold weather. I hate standing outside freezing while trying to buckle kids into car seats with freezing cold hands that won't barely move. I hate trying to keep track of all those mittens and hats every time we go in some place and they goet hot and start pulling it all off. I hate clearing snow and ice off the car in the mornings. I hate having to worry about whether or not my hubby will be able to shovel the driveway before he leaves for work or if I will have to do it so my Dad won't when he gets home from work. I hate being so cold that I can't breathe and every bone in my body aches.

Yeah, remind me again why I live in Minnesota? The only good thing about winter is the beauty of the white snow and how much my boys love to play outside in the snow and what would Christmas morning be without freshly fallen snow. I wish I could hibernate and not have to go outside again until Spring. i better go. i need to soak in the last beautiful day we will have in a VERY LONG time.

There's a Cowboy in All Of Us

Last night B7 was watching some sort of rodeo on TV. To the best of my knowledge he has never seen a rodeo before. Although you would never know it from his comments. "Oh, he's the one to beat, I've heard about him" What? Heard about him where? "His score was 91! Better than I predicted, I thought he would get 89" These comments were made during the bull riding contest, although this is the one place he could have given himself away, since he kept calling it buffalo riding while he was waiting for that part to come on. It was hysterical. Who know my son knew so much about being a cowboy and liked it so much! His dad tried to change the channel, looking for something else to watch and B7 got all upset, "But I was watching the rodeo!"
I had a hard enough time convincing him that hockey and football were too dangerous to play. I sure hope I don't have to convince him that he's not actually that interested in bull riding. Although, if he asks, I would probably let him ride a buffalo.

Way To Math

B7 is in 2nd grade and he is very bright. He always has been, soon he will be smarter than me. I've always known what he's doing for homework, but truth be told, he doesn't need my help. This year he is in leveled reading and math. His homeroom teacher is his reading teacher, but his math teacher is a different 2nd grade teacher. So, for math he has to gather up his belongings and go to math. The last couple of nights have been horrible. He comes home with the wrong papers, or he's forgotten his homework because it's in the wrong folder. and he's devastated. He likes math, he likes homework and he doesn't want to get an X for not having his homework (3 X's and you cannot participate in that month's behavior reward). This is all new to me, we have not had this problem before. He brought home a page from his math workbook last night and it had a sticky note on it that said "Study Hall". I could not convince him to do this worksheet, he said he had to do it the next day in Study Hall (library during recess). I tried to convince him that if he did it tonight as homework he would not have to go to Study Hall. It was a 2 1/2 hour ordeal. I ended up finally talking to his teacher to get it all worked out. She said it's a new thing and a very tough thing for 7 and 8 year olds to move to a different classroom and to remember everything they need, but that he just needs to stop and think and make sure he has what he needs. So, I made him a list to tape to the inside of his desk so he can double check it before he leaves for math. I have no idea if this will help, or if there is more to it, but I think I will go in and watch the transition and see what happens in math.
A little frustrating and a whole new experience for me, hopefully, not to be repeated too many more times! But, since the possibility exists, I will have to remember to be calm and helpful. Right?

Traveling and Parenting

I have to write three travel essays for my geography class to somewhere I have never been. I have chosen, although it could change, St. Lucia in the Caribbean, Prague and Singapore. Anybody know anything compelling about any of these places that I should definetly include in my essay?

On the parenting side of life, I thought I would write an update on my children since I have not talked about them recently. B7 wore khakis to school today and came home with grass stains all over them! When i said i didn't think I could get them clean, he said, "Why do they need to be clean?" Why indeed? Also, almost daily, he forgets his lunch box in the school and has to go back in for it. Why they can't put them in their locker after recess, I have no idea, but instead they get put ?? where, I don't know. But he can't seem to remember he needs to get it every day after school. He's in the top reading level and the top math level and I'm glad for that. He can read anything, a few months ago he started reading the book of Revelation out of his Bible.

B4 had preschool today and a friend of his came home with him afterwards to play for awhile. B4 can go a long time without talking much, when his friend was here today he chattered at him nonstop! I thought my ears would start bleeding. The other day while riding in the car he wanted to know if he would be a dad before his brother. I tried to explain that it just depended on who got married and who had babies first. He said his brother told him he would be an adult before him and I said that yes, age wise, B7 would be an adult first but by the time they were in their 20's it wouldn't matter because they would both be adults (gulp!). Well, the bottom line was he wishes he was an adult now. Because then he could do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. I tried to tell him that he needs to enjoy being a kid and do all the kid things now. "Yeah, but it seems like it's taking a long time to grow up", Poor kid, he's only 4. But I had to agree. I remember being a kid and thinking I would never get older. Now I refuse to admit just how old I am.

My baby is 18 months old now and thinks she's at least 5. She does and says all the things her brothers do and say. Her favaorite things are her dolls, "babies" and she drags them everywhere with her. I try really hard to distract her on our way out the door so she won't remember to bring them along. She brushes her teeth exactly like I do, she takes the keys to the car and thinks she shold be able to get in like I do. She "talks" on the phone while walking around the house, like I do. she loves having her hair brushed and put up into a pony tail and she loves to watch me put on makeup. It's weird having her copy me on everything. I guess I'll have to watch what I do more closely!!

They are pretty amazing kids, overall. We have our moments and at those times I'm not the shining example of a mom that I would like to be. They know how to push my buttons and it gets old reffing make believe. But they are precious and beautiful and as much as I try to teach them, I think I am the one doing the learning.

The Way to School

Satuday was my education class for weekend college and one of our assignments was to bring in an artifact or article or heirloom that we could talk about and how that linked to our family history and culture. I wracked my brain for this one because we don't really have any cultural customs that we do that have been passed on from generations ago. I know my dad's dad was born in Sweden, but we don't really know the origin of the rest of the family members.
Antway, i ended up taking a very old recipe for ketchup that my mom always made when we were kids. She got it from her mom who got it from her mom. this is the original recipe and part of the directions are "remove from fire". I didn't take a sample of the ketchup in with me, because, really, how exciting is it to just eat ketdhup, but it is really good.
Then on Sunday I went back for my Geography class, which, this week, i had a test in. Well, I left early because we had been told that there would be no where to park because of a dedication of a new building on campus and they were having a big thing with the students, teahers, parents, alumni... so I left early in hopes of finding a parking spot.
I heard later that an email went out, but I didn't get it. I was driving along, quite happily, reviewing the populations fo the top 10 largest countries in my head, when all of a sudden, there was a sign that said, ROAD CLOSED.
Sunday was a big marathon and they had closed all the roads and I did not know how to get to school. No problem, take out my cell phone, call home, it goes straight to voice mail which means my hubby is on the internet, no proble, call his cell. PROBLEM: no answer. I went back and forth between the tow phones leaving frantic messages. "Where are you? I need to talk to you right now! Call me back right now! you have to tell me how to get around the marathon to the school" No luck, I could not get through to him. Meanwhile I am driving all over the place trying to figure it out but I can't get as far south as I need to, all the roads were closed. So I finally called my brother, who very easily whipped out a map and talked me through the way around the marathon th othe school. Thank you, brother!!
I actually did get to school on time, I have no idea how, I think because once I got there all the festivities were over and i didn't have to worry about parking. I wasn't the only one trying to figure out how to get there, a couple other students came in late.
Of course, i wasn't as upset about it by the thime I got home since it was all over and everything had worker out, but I still gave hubby a hard time for not answering his phone. "What's the point of you having a phone if you are not going to anser it, especially when I need to talk to you" I had to say this to him because he has said it to me hundreds of times when I forget to turn on my phone.
We were on our way home from dinner last night and i was reviewing the directions to the Open School that I had to go back to in the morning and my hubby was reminding me. Then he said "Yeah, but I think there's an AIDS walk going on down there tomorrow."
Ha ha, isn't he funny!!

The Open School Experience

So, last Monday I went downtown to an Open school that's very close to the University. I was supposed to be there at 8:30 am, I arrived at 8:15. The teacher put me right to work stapling homework pages together. The students started slowly filtering in, they would hang up their coats in a cubby in the classroom and then come sit on the floor in front of the Blackboard. About 8:30 there were about 14 students there and the teacher, who is called by her first name, (let's call her Amy) sat on the floor with them while they tried to figure out word picture problems. She told me they were still waiting for 11 students, that they were at breakfast.
Finally, I finished all the stapling and I joined the circle along with the breakfast eaters. We went around the circle, high fived each other and said "Good Morning". Then we played a game of "hot and cold", where one student would hide a tape while another student was out in the hall. That student would then come in and we would all give directions on how to find the tape using hot and cold as directionals. They had a great time doing that.
This classroom was 3rd/4th grade together. I didn't really know what an open school meant. Everyone I talked to before going down there told me that there would be no walls. Well, there were walls, we were in a real classroom. So I talked to Amy about it while the students were eating lunch. She said that the old open meant no walls, but it didn't make for very effiective learning, for obvious reasons, one class might be working on an art project while another class is trying to take a test. The new open, she explained, means that the students have lots of options. So do the teachers. The students get to pick almost all of what they learn. They set their own goals, choose what they want to study, choose dance and/or band and the teachers choose whethere or not they want to follow any kind of curriculum. This year they have to use a math curriculum, but everything else is up to the individual teacher.

Then they had about 45 minutes of silent reading. Amy had me take one student out into the hall so she could read out loud to me and then explain to me what she read.
Then it was math and the third graders left to go to their math class and other fourth graders came in to Amy's class. They sat on the floor in front of the blackboard with their workbooks and did math with the help of the overhead projector.
Then lunch, recess and then writing. Their writing assignment was to write a persuasive paragraph to the student council to try to convince the middle schoolers to let the elementary students use the juice machine too.
Then at 12:45 they were off to gym and I went home. I go back two more Mondays.

It was very familar, because it was school, but it was also different because of their different philosophies on some things. I have never been in a classroom where you call the teacher by her first name. Amy said they were a peace site and every time one of the students said something inappropriate to another student Amy would say, "Oh no, we're a peace site, we can come to school in a safe environment." But I didn't really see any consequences to speaking inappropriately. Maybe I will in the coming weeks.

It was alot of fun for me. I enjoy being with the kids and it was also very interesting to me to see a classroom so different to what I grew up in. Students are students, no matter where they are or what kind of a school they go to. It definetly encouraged me to know that this is still what I want to do and I think it's very helpful to see other kinds of environments.

I was a bit nervous being in there, but I hope I didn't make Amy nervous. She's a great teacher and the students all seem to really like her.